


Scenes From the Cutting Room Floor: Season Seven

by SupernaturalPrincess9



Series: Scenes From the Cutting Room Floor [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 02:52:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 19,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4689662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalPrincess9/pseuds/SupernaturalPrincess9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Wincestization of season 7 of Supernatural; at least one scene for every episode.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meet the New Boss (Intermission)

_Binding Death might have been a mistake,_ Dean thought to himself as he took a seat at Bobby’s table. It certainly hadn’t achieved what they had hoped in any case, and he’d pissed Death off. 

Again. 

Pickle chips or not, Death had made himself very clear.

Now they had to figure out how to get Cas to come to them and convince him to put all of the souls back into Purgatory. 

Dean snorted as he threw back a shot. There was no way Cas was going to come to them. He was far too gone and drunk on his new-found power. Plus, they had just tried to command Death to kill him, which certainly wasn’t going to work in their favor after their epic failure.

Dean poured himself another drink, thinking about secrets that people – and angels – keep. 

Cas… conspiring with Crowley to get all the souls in Purgatory. 

For months and they’d had no fucking clue, despite Death’s cryptic warning about the souls. By the time they finally realized that Houston had a problem, it was far too late for them to do anything to stop it. 

To pour salt in the gaping wound, Cas had been running around playing God once he had all the souls inside him. His own mini-nuclear reactor making him impossible to stop.

Killing people, hunting things. Cas’ family business. Sure, most had been douchebags, but still… it wasn’t right. They _saved_ people. They didn’t kill them – not unless they were also some kind of monster. Cas was off the rails, and Dean was fairly certain they weren’t going to be able to fix it. 

Dean let out a long sigh. He had bigger, more immediate, problems when it came to fixing things. Or, in this case, someone.

Sam. 

First, Sam had lied to Dean about not having a soul for months. To be fair, Sam hadn’t known exactly what was wrong with him… but he’d known _something_ was and he had let Dean believe he was ok until Dean found out differently from a monster, of all things. 

And that’s what Dean really hated: he kept finding out things about Sam from people and things who weren’t Sam himself. When Sam was right again, he and Dean were going to have a long talk about not hiding things from one another. Secrets eventually came between them, dividing them in a way that was more painful than Dean could bear. All Dean wanted was for them to have what they’d had before.

Dean closed his eyes thought back to the months of pure bliss between them after Sam first got his soul back: working together, loving one another in every possible way, completely in synch. 

Dean should have known it was too good to last. And deep down, he had. He realized he’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop for a while now. 

The first shoe had been Cas breaking Sam’s wall.

And then the next shoe. This time it was a big ol’ boot: Death revealed that Sammy had been hiding things from him. Big things.

Not just flashbacks. 

Hallucinations.

Dean tossed back another shot and then ran a hand down over his face. He was so fucking tired. When would they ever catch a break? Dean was still angry as hell at Cas for doing what he’d done to Sam. He would never forgive Cas for breaking his brother. Not entirely, even if they managed to save Cas from his latest fuck up. Maybe they’d work together again, but down deep, Dean would hold onto that betrayal and never, ever forget.

Dean let his eyes wander without really registering what he was seeing. His thoughts returned to his precious Sammy… why wouldn’t he tell him the truth? Hadn’t he earned the truth by now?

Sammy lying to him… it hurt him. He wanted to understand. And sometimes he almost did… and then other times, he’d get irrationally mad. Dean knew he could drive himself crazy with these thoughts. He was going to need to find some balance if he was going to find a way to fix his brother. 

Because, make no mistake, he was going to find a way to fix his brother.

Dean sighed as he flipped open the laptop. He scanned through a few news sites, looking for any new atrocities attributable to Cas’ rampage. Finding nothing, he poured himself another shot and leaned back, throwing his booted feet onto the table and crossing them at the ankles. 

_May as well get drunk._ Dean thought to himself as he flipped through the headlines on another website.

When Sam walked into the room, Dean looked up at him. He loved the man in front of him so much, but even that love right now couldn’t give him any hope.

Sam eyed his brother, noting the look of despair on his face and the shot in his hand. Sam cringed inside. He knew that he was the cause of Dean’s hopelessness. He just didn’t know what to do about it except try for some normalcy.

“You want some coffee with that?” Sam asked as he looked down at Dean.

Dean looked down at the amber liquid in his glass. “Nah, it’s 6:00 PM somewhere.” he said as he took another deliberate sip of his drink.

Sam steeled himself for a battle as he worked to convince Dean they still had time to do as Death asked. If necessary, Sam would find a way on his own.


	2. Hello, Cruel World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

Dean watched Sam seize over and over in the ambulance. He reached for his brother, eventually capturing his hand and holding it tight. Tears streamed down Dean’s face as he watched his brother’s body convulsing.

Dean closed his eyes when he couldn’t watch Sam’s seizures any longer. He thought back to when they were in the car. He’d gotten through to Sam in the warehouse, pressing into his scar to show him the difference between his hallucinations and reality.

On the way back to Bobby’s, Sam had reached over and had taken Dean’s hand in his. 

“I’m so sorry, Dean.” Sam had whispered. “I know I’m a liability.” 

Sam had paused, thinking back to his demon blood addiction and then his escapades without his soul. “Again.”

Dean had looked over at Sam, his face a mask of worry, concern and love. Always love. “Stop it, Sammy. You’re my brother and you know I am going to be right by your side through this, ok?” 

Dean had gently squeezed Sam’s hand, making sure not to hurt it. “I’m always gonna be right here with you, Sammy. I promise.”

Sam had hung his head, shaking it. “Dean… I know I don’t deserve…”

Dean had threaded his fingers through Sam’s. “Stop it, Sammy. You do deserve it. You deserve me. And my love. And my devotion. You give me the same, because we’re like trees in the wind, Sammy. When the wind blows in one direction, we bend that way. When it changes direction, we do, too. Eventually, the wind dies down and we’re standing tall again. Just let me help you.”

“You’re always having to help me, Dean.” Sam had whispered, his voice full of anguish.

Dean had raised Sam’s hand to his lips, kissing the back of his knuckles gently. “I want to help you, Sammy.” Dean smiled. “And it’s not cuz I’m an altruist. It’s because I need you and I love you.” Dean had given Sam another smile as he suppressed his own fear and anguish.

This thing with Sam was freaking him out. He was scared and worried. And he was terrified that he was going to lose Sam all over again.

Sam had looked at Dean’s hand, holding his in a strong and sure grip. Then he had looked at Dean. “I love you and need you, too, Dean.”

As they had pulled up in front of Bobby’s house, Dean’s eyes had widened in fear. “Oh no… no…”

Dean had pulled the car to a stop and Sam and Dean had jumped out to search for Bobby.

And now Dean didn’t know if Bobby was alive or dead, Sammy was having convulsions as the pressure built up in his brain and Dean had a broken leg.

 _Par for the course._ Dean thought hysterically as tears leaked from his closed eyes as the ambulance raced toward a hospital potentially full of Leviathan.


	3. The Girl Next Door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

Dean lay awake, thinking about Sam and his attempts to rationalize Amy’s actions. 

He’d been persuasive. He’d whole-heartedly believed what he was saying. He honestly thought Amy was done killing. And Sam had begged him to let it go. To let _Amy_ go.

Dean put on a good show, even acting like Sam’s pleas had convinced him to leave Amy alone. He’d let Sam think that he trusted his judgment.

But he didn’t. Not right now, and he hadn’t done as he had told Sam. 

He’d killed Amy. In front of her son… although he didn’t know about that until after the deed was done. He regretted that part.

He even felt bad about killing Amy. He did. And he felt worse about lying to Sam about it. Truth be told, he felt way worse about that. But it was a necessary evil with Sam’s brains all scrambled. 

Generally speaking, Dean just felt bad. All the time. This was just one more thing to add to the pile.

And things with Sam… those weren’t helping. It had been a long while since he and Sam had been together – intimately. They still held one another at night, they still kissed and hugged and held hands… but since Dean didn’t know if or when Lucifer would show up, he didn’t want to risk Sam seeing someone who wasn’t him hovering over him in the dark of night.

Sam was in his arms right now, sleeping soundly. Dean kissed his forehead and Sam shifted and made a noise of approval before being pulled back into slumber. 

God… he loved Sam so much, but everything was sideways right now. Sam’s melon was rotting, Leviathan were running amok and Dean was on edge. Twenty-four, seven, as they say.

Dean wished for simpler times… like the early days when he and Sam hunted Wendigos and shtrigas. They’d laughed, they’d joked… their concerns were minimal: money and food were the two main things they’d had to worry about. And then came the seals and the apocalypse… totally fucking up their lives. And now, they’d had to fight Eve and her Jefferson Starships… they’d watched Cas self-destruct – after working with the King of Hell, plotting with him to gain power, nearly destroying the world in the process, leaving Sam and Dean to clean up his mess. 

These new (but really old) creatures Cas had let in from purgatory were bad, bad news… and just today, to put another log on their eternal fire, a damn kitsune from their past reared her ugly monster head… and Dean had to fix that, too. By himself, keeping Sam in the dark.

Dean stared at the ceiling, thinking about his brother.

What he loved about Sam… his empathy, his compassion… were also things that Dean didn’t quite understand and often considered a weakness. There was no way he’d ever let an actively-killing monster go. But Sam had always felt a kinship with the freaks. And Dean, when he let himself, understood his position on that.

But right now – this second? None of that was important. It would all still be there for him to deal with in the morning.

Dean closed his eyes and breathed in Sam’s scent. He missed the nights they’d make out for hours. He definitely missed the Frontierland-like sex. Because that had been hot as hell.

But Sam was here, in his arms; where he belonged… Dean had to keep reminding himself that things could be worse. At least they were together.

As long as that were true – they were golden and there wasn’t anything they couldn’t handle. 

Together.


	4. Defending Your Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

As Osiris disintegrated before his eyes, Sam puffed out several breaths, hoping to any deity who could actually deliver that Dean was ok. 

Sam dialed Dean’s cell.

“Sammy.” Dean said, slightly out of breath. “That was a close one.”

“You’re ok?” Sam asked hurriedly. “Jo’s gone?”

“Gone. And I’m fine.” Dean said, thinking about how good it had been to see Jo, even though it had been painful when he thought about how she had died. “She was going to blow me up, Sammy.”

“Jesus!” Sam gasped. “Listen… I’m gonna put this ram’s horn back at the temple and I’ll be there as soon as I can, ok?”

“Yeah. I’ll be here.” Dean said, disconnecting.

Dean slowly walked to the bed nearest the door. He threw back a shot of hunter’s helper before reclining on the bed to wait for Sam. He knew he should tell Sam about Amy. He’d been certain that she would be Osiris’ third witness… and then Sam would have known. Dean couldn’t allow that so he’d forced the decision, sealing his fate. 

Osiris had known what was in Dean’s heart: pure guilt, for so much, but most recently for lying to Sam about killing Amy.

Dean had no doubt Sam would eventually find out. Dean vowed to himself that he would tell Sam himself before he let him find out any other way. He just had to find the courage. 

Dean sighed and closed his eyes. That conversation was going to be so fucking hard. 

Maybe he should have just trusted Sam. 

“Fuck!” Dean said, running his hand over his face. He’d really fucked up this time.

Sam came bursting through the door a few minutes later. He looked around the room, searching for Dean. When he saw him on the bed, Sam ran over and dropped down next to him, running his hands over Dean to ensure he didn’t have any injuries.

Dean sat up and wrapped his arms around Sam. “I’m ok, Sammy.”

Sam pulled Dean to him, holding him close. 

“I was so scared, Dean. I thought I wasn’t going to find Osiris in time and that I’d come back here and find you dead.” Sam kissed Dean’s neck softly, his love only serving to make Dean feel even guiltier about Amy.

Sam leaned back and used both hands to cradle Dean’s face. 

“Couldn’t go on if something happened to you, Dean.” Sam smiled and then kissed Dean softly.

Dean swallowed past the lump in his throat and rasped out, “Love you, Sammy.”

Sam kissed Dean again. “Love you, Dean.”

Dean slid backwards on the bed, making room for Sam. “Lay with me?”

Sam smiled as he stood and kicked off his boots. “Always.”

Dean held his arms out, welcoming Sam into a tight embrace. As Sam’s body made full contact with Dean’s, he made a soft noise of contentment, causing Dean to smile past his churning emotions. Dean turned and kissed Sam’s forehead softly.

“You feel so good, Sammy.” Dean whispered.

Sam sighed and pulled Dean closer. “So do you, Dean. Bar none, this is my favorite place on earth.”

Dean felt tears well in his eyes so he tried for levity. “I didn’t know you loved this motel room that much, Sammy.”

Sam leaned up and propped his head up with his hand, looking down at Dean. “Wasn’t talking about the room, Dean.” Sam’s voice was low and intense, full of the love he had for his brother.

Dean blinked his eyes, clearing the tears before turning his head to look at Sam. “I know, Sammy.”

Sam could see Dean was troubled, and he figured it was because of the guilt Dean must still carry about Jo’s death. Sam leaned forward and kissed Dean’s cheek. 

“It’s not your fault she died.” Sam whispered as he laid his head on his brother’s shoulder.

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, fighting back his tears. 

“Not my fault who died?” Dean asked, afraid that Sam had guessed about Amy.

“Jo.” Sam said softly as he pulled Dean closer. “It was her choice to come with us that day. You’re not to blame.”

Dean shivered as he thought about what he was responsible for: Amy’s death. Knowing that somehow Sam would find out terrified Dean to his core.

Dean cleared his throat and whispered, “I know.”

Sam nuzzled his face against Dean’s neck and settled in to sleep.

Dean lay awake a long time, thinking about what would happen once Sam knew the truth about Amy. One thing was for certain, it wasn’t going to be pretty.


	5. Shut Up, Dr. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

“Were you listening to the Starks tonight?” Sam asked Dean. “Did you notice how they opened up and got everything off their chests?” Sam’s eyes were begging Dean to talk to him. Sam had been asking Dean to open up to him, over and over… he needed to feel close to Dean. He needed to know what had been troubling him recently.

“Yeah, kudos on selling them that crap.” Dean scoffed. Sam sighed. Why couldn’t Dean understand that he didn’t have to hide from Sam? Sam was right here, ready to love him. Whatever was bothering Dean… they could work it out. It would all be ok if Dean would just talk to him.

“It’s not crap, Dean.” Sam said, shaking his head. “Stuff builds up unless you talk about it.” Sam continued. “Look, Dean, it’s fine. You can unload. That’s kinda what I’m here for. I mean, we’re good, right?” Sam asked, his brows furrowed. He was concerned about Dean and afraid that Dean was going to lie to him yet again.

“Yeah… we’re good.” Dean responded before climbing into the Impala. No fuss, no muss. Dean just expected Sam to accept that as the truth. Well, he didn’t. Sam looked down at his hands where they rested on the roof of the Impala. Dean was lying to him. He just didn’t know why or about what. He had to find out though. And he would… but right now, he’d let it slide.

Dean stared out the windshield, thinking that if he were going to say something about killing Amy… now would be the time. He tried out sentences in his head as he drove, looking for the right way to bring it up.

_“Sammy… I gotta tell you something. I couldn’t let Amy go… she was killing people, man. It wasn’t right… I should have listened to you and I’m sorry.”_

Nope. Light on the reason why and that kind of apology was something that had to stand alone… not be an afterthought. 

Dean tried again in his mind: _“Sammy… we’re hunters… Amy was killing people… and I know you thought it was justified, but what about those people’s families? Huh?”_

Oh no… too confrontational, too cold. Too clinical.

Once more: _“Sammy… you’re crazy as hell right now and I’m not trusting your judgment because I dream about you shooting at nothing every single night.”_

No! The truth was terrible… and only partially true… Dean still trusted Sam. Mostly. Well, at least partially.

Dean tightened his hands on the steering wheel. He was so fucked. Sammy was never going to forgive him. Why didn’t he just do as he told Sam he would? Sam had been thankful. He’d hugged him. It had meant something to Sam to think Dean would do that for him.

Dean blinked back his tears. He was trapped. And guilty… and it was only a matter of time before this thing came to a head. _“Say something you dumbass.”_ Dean said to himself over and over. _“Say something… anything… just tell him.”_ No… Dean couldn’t because he was afraid he’d lose Sam. Maybe for good this time, given his fragile state.

Dean nearly jumped when he felt Sam’s hand on his shoulder.

“I know that you’re going through something, Dean.” Sam said softly. “I just want you to know I’m here for you, if you want to talk, ok? Or… I’m here to hold you… whatever you need.”

Dean blinked back his tears. He was such an ass. “Thanks, Sammy.” Dean whispered, afraid to meet Sam’s eyes.

Sam ran the back of his fingers down Dean’s cheek. “Love you, Dean.”

Dean closed his eyes. Why in the fuck did he make the wrong choices when it came to Sam? He always did it – it was as though he were trying to sabotage the only good thing he’d ever had in his life.

“Love you, Sammy.” Dean whispered, unable to say anything more.


	6. Slash Fiction (Prelude)

Dean and Sam stopped outside of the Quad Cities and got a motel room off I74. They were on their way back to Bobby’s with that… thing… in the trunk where they’d moved it at a rest stop. Having it in the backseat had been creepy. They’d intended to drive straight through, but they’d left late and they were tired.

Sam waited while Dean got the room. He knew something was eating at Dean and he wanted so badly just to fix it. He believed Dean would feel better if he just talked about whatever was bothering him. Right now, it was driving a wedge between them and Sam was worried about the state of their relationship.

Dean, after securing a room, jumped back in the car and parked it in front of the last unit on the end.

The brothers unloaded their gear and went into the room, Sam following behind Dean. They made quick work of getting ready for bed. Dean slid beneath the covers of the bed closest to the door and closed his eyes, not inviting Sam into his bed with his closed off body language.

Sam wasn’t listening.

Sam slid into bed with Dean. “Scooch over.” 

“Sam…” Dean said, without moving. He didn’t deserve Sam’s love, and having Sam close made the guilt Dean carried nearly unbearable.

Dean grunted when Sam physically shoved him over, making room for himself.

“I said scooch over.” Sam groused as he continued to push Dean toward the edge of the bed. Dean sighed and rolled to his side, accepting the inevitable.

Sam wrapped his arms around Dean, planting a soft kiss at the base of his neck. “If you’re not going to talk to me…” Sam whispered as he slid his hand down Dean’s stomach and into his boxers, taking Dean’s cock in his hand, beginning to stroke it. “Then at least be with me… it’s been so long, Dean.” 

Sam nipped at Dean’s neck as he continued to stoke Dean’s cock. Sam moaned as Dean hardened in his hand. “Need you to touch me, Dean…” Sam said softly.

Dean rolled over and captured Sam’s lips in a passionate kiss. He could give Sam this, and he needed it, too. Dean reached down and took Sam’s cock in his hand, stroking it in time with the rhythm Sam had set. 

Dean pushed Sam onto his back, kissing him the whole way. Dean then kissed his way down Sam’s neck and chest, running his tongue over Sam’s nipples and biting them gently. Dean’s movements caused Sam to lose his grip on Dean’s cock, making Sam grunt in protest. Dean sucked Sam’s nipple into his mouth, circling it with his tongue as he pressed his cock against Sam’s thigh, slowly thrusting his hips to get some much needed friction.

Sam moaned, “Yeah… Dean…”

Dean kept going lower, loving the feeling of Sam rocking his hips in response to his touch. Finally Dean’s lips found Sam’s cock. He moaned as he sucked Sam deep into his mouth. Sam ran his fingers through Dean’s hair, encouraging him to take him deeper.

Dean wrapped his fingers around Sam’s cock and began sucking him off in earnest. Sam’s hips were still rocking in time with Dean’s strokes. Dean reached down and played with Sam’s balls, lightly squeezing and caressing them as he continued to suck. As Sam got close, Dean slipped his fingers behind Sam’s balls, stroking the hardness there in time with his other hand. 

“Dean… Dean… Dean… god…” Sam moaned as his orgasm built. It had been too long since they’d last shared a moment like this and Sam was overwhelmed with the emotion of it all. His need for Dean, coupled with his brother’s talented tongue and fingers working him over brought him to the edge.

“Fuck… yeah… Dean…!” Sam yelled as his come flooded Dean’s mouth. Dean drank Sam down… every drop. As Sam’s cock began to soften, Dean released it from his mouth, kissing the tip before moving up the bed to lie next to Sam.

Sam looked at Dean, smiling. “I’ve missed you so fucking much, Dean.” 

Dean smiled at Sam, wondering if he’d feel that way if he knew what he’d done.

Sam quickly rolled on top of Dean, kissing him deeply before whispering. “My turn… my turn to love you, Dean.” 

Dean closed his eyes, nodding to acknowledge his need while trying not to cry from the guilt of his betrayal.


	7. Slash Fiction (Postlude)

“I think you should just go on without me.” Sam said, his face a mask of fury. “Go.”

Dean nodded. He deserved this. “All right.” Dean responded. “I’m sorry, Sam.”

Sam shook his head and turned away. He was so fucking angry. He couldn’t believe that Dean would go behind his back and kill his friend. Sam stared out over the water, fighting back his tears. 

He had thought Dean believed him. 

He had thought Dean believed _in_ him.

But he hadn’t. Maybe he never had. Maybe ever since they started hunting together, Dean never really believed that Sam was strong enough to be his equal partner. Sam had thought he’d redeemed himself for the demon blood and Ruby fiasco by taking Lucifer into the pit, but clearly his sacrifice hadn’t mattered at all.

Sam had tried so hard to deal with the repercussions of his sacrifice to save the world. The terrible things he’d done when he had no soul – he’d tried to make things right. After Cas broke his wall, he’d been trying so hard to deal with his hallucinations… but it was clear that none of his efforts were enough to make Dean believe that he was worthy of his trust.

Sam felt as though his heart were breaking in two. He closed his eyes and struggled to control his breathing. He couldn’t let Dean see just how wrecked he was, so he stood with his back to Dean, who was still sitting in the car. 

Sam wished Dean would just go. 

He really needed him to go. 

If he didn’t leave soon, Sam feared he’d give in, go back, even give Dean a second chance because, despite everything, Dean was the one Sam loved above all else. Dean had been his whole past and Sam had thought, after everything they’d been through together, Dean would be his whole future.

But now, he couldn’t say that for certain. He was angry and he was hurt.

Sam sighed and continued to wait. 

He could hold out and be strong. He’d use his anger to anchor him in place.

From where he was parked, Dean watched Sam. His back was rigid and his anger was rolling off him in waves, even from this distance. 

Dean knew he deserved it. 

Dean knew he should just go… but he kept waiting just one more minute after one more minute, desperately hoping Sam would change his mind and return to the car.

_Return to him._

That was Dean’s whole heart standing there. Without Sam by his side, Dean felt as though he had nothing left. Nothing that mattered anyway. He wanted to scream in frustration, but he had no one to blame but himself – and he’d known something like this would happen once Sam found out. He knew he shouldn’t be surprised that the moment had finally come.

And he wasn’t surprised, but he was devastated and angry with himself.

After 10 minutes of waiting, Dean sighed and wiped the tears from his eyes. It was clear that Sam wasn’t going to forgive him. Not now anyway, and maybe never. 

Dean put the car in Reverse and backed out of the parking spot. With one last glance at Sam, Dean put the car in Drive and accelerated out of the lot.

As soon as Sam knew Dean was gone, he bent over at the waist, moaning in real physical pain. He felt sick to his stomach and thought he might retch. After a few deep breaths, Sam stood and wiped the tears from his eyes. 

He had to be strong now. And he needed to find a ride.


	8. The Mentalists

“Well, hey, if I learned one thing from that museum, sibling acts are tough.” Sam said, letting Dean off the hook with a sardonic smile and gentle eyes.

“Don’t compare us to that hall of crazy. We’re like poster kids of functional family life compared to them.” Dean responded, a small smile on his face did not do justice to the relief and happiness he was feeling inside now that Sam was back with him.

The brothers smiled to themselves, thinking their own thoughts, as Dean pulled their stolen piece of shit away from the curb. For the first time in a long while, Dean felt good… like maybe things were looking up. Despite Cas’ multiple betrayals, not the least of which was breaking his brother’s brain. Despite the Leviathan running amok. Despite everything, Sam was back.

Sam was back where he belonged for Dean.

Dean looked over at Sam, who was still smiling. Dean’s heart lifted as he reached over to take Sam’s hand in his. Sam threaded his fingers through Dean’s and squeezed gently. They rode in silence, content with the contact for now.

As the miles passed, Sam let himself truly relax. He wanted to be with Dean. He needed to be with him. He _needed_ him. 

“If we were in the Impala, I’d be asking you if you would mind if I laid down about now.” Sam said after they’d driven over one hundred miles. 

Dean smiled and patted his thigh with one hand while tugging Sam’s hand with the other. “I will never hate the thought of you putting your head in my lap, Sammy. Wanna try?”

Sam looked down and assessed the center console. Definitely wasn’t going to work, so he leaned sideways and lowered himself until his head rested on Dean’s shoulder. That was as good as it was gonna get. Sam slid his left hand onto Dean’s thigh, using his thumb to gently stroke Dean’s leg through his denim. 

“These bucket seats suck, man.” Sam lamented with a sigh.

Dean ran his fingers through Sam’s hair. His arm was cranked around in a weird position to do it, but he was determined. He’d always loved that Sam kept his hair long… even though he teased him a lot for having it that way. It was good natured, and Sam knew it. 

Dean knew that Sam loved the feeling of his fingers running through his hair, so that’s what he did whenever he had the opportunity. When Dean used his nails to gently scratch Sam’s scalp, Sam shivered involuntarily. Dean knew that turned him on. 

“No fair…” Sam said softly as Dean chuckled.

“Just getting you in the mood for a little make up sex, Sammy.” Dean said with a smile.

Sam turned his head and kissed Dean’s cheek, making an overly dramatic smacking sound, which caused Dean to laugh. 

“Ok. I’m gonna hold you to that.” Sam said through his smile as he moved completely back to the stupid bucket seat and wiggled around until he was comfortable. 

Dean looked over at his brother. Sam had closed his eyes, so he let his eyes roam his brother’s body. He looked good. He looked right sitting shot gun. His hair was long and his sideburns were getting a little overbearing for Dean’s taste, but he was still sexy as hell.

No one turned Dean on like Sam did. Dean loved every sharp angle and soft curve of Sam’s body. He even loved the damned sideburns. Dean reached over and stroked Sam’s cheek with his thumb. 

“You’re beautiful, Sammy.” Dean whispered over the sound of the wheels riding on the pavement.

Sam turned his head and looked over at Dean. “So are you, Dean… so are you.”

Sam pulled Dean’s hand to his lips, kissing the back of his hand gently before placing it in his lap, safely encased within both of his. Dean guided their current replacement vehicle down the road with a smile of satisfaction on his face. 

He had everything he’d ever wanted right here with him.

Except Baby. 

But he’d get her back soon, too.


	9. Time for a Wedding!

“Now you finally get to take care of yourself. ‘Bout time, huh?” Sam said.

“Yeah.” Dean paused. “Right.” 

He watched Sam slide into the passenger seat of the Dodge. He paused outside of the driver’s side, wondering if Sam was trying to tell him that he didn’t need him anymore. 

That was Dean’s biggest fear: that one day, Sam would wake up and think, _“Today is the day I set out on my own.”_

And then he’d leave Dean devastated and alone.

Dean slid behind the wheel, recalling the flirting they’d done leaning up against the trunk before Sam had fucked it up with his _“I know my way around the plate now”_ Denver omelet speech. 

Dean didn’t want Sam to not need him watching his back. That was Dean’s job.

No, it was more than that. It was his identity. It was who he was – who he’d always been. He needed to take care of Sam the same way he needed air. It wasn’t something he could just separate from himself. It was instinctual.

As Dean guided the Dodge down the road, Sam was still sitting in the passenger seat with a smile on his face. Dean wondered if Sam were thinking about a future that didn’t include his overbearing brother. 

Dean sighed, knowing that he was going to torment himself with these thoughts over and over again. He could feel his desperation gathering in the pit of his stomach. Thinking about being alone, without Sam, made him physically ill.

Dean was startled when Sam spoke. 

“Feels good to be back with you, Dean.” Sam’s voice was gentle and his smile was genuine. “I really hate being mad at you. I’m glad that we talked and that we can work on getting back to where we were… before.”

Dean gave Sam a tight smile. He was so happy to hear Sam’s words, but he still couldn’t shake the feeling that Sam was going to leave him. Sam noticed that Dean still looked troubled so he reached over and took Dean’s hand in his. 

“Are you ok, Dean?” Sam asked quietly, his voice full of concern.

Dean quickly glanced at Sam and opened his mouth to say he was fine. 

What came out of him instead was, “I’m afraid you’re going to leave me forever.” 

Dean’s eyes grew wide in horror. He hadn’t meant to say anything that remotely resembled that. 

Sam furrowed his brows and looked at Dean, his face a mask of unease. 

“Why would you think that, Dean?” Sam asked while gently stroking Dean’s knuckles with his thumb. As he waited for Dean to answer, Sam thought about the 10 days he’d left Dean alone and then he knew why Dean would think that. 

“Can you pull the car over, Dean? Please?” Sam asked, using his puppy dog eyes to ensure the success of his request.

Dean did as Sam asked; still horrified he’d said anything at all about Sam’s leaving him. When the car was stopped, Sam opened the door and began climbing out of the car. 

“Can you meet me over here?” Sam requested.

Dean slowly walked around the front of the car and then stood in front of Sam, looking away, down the highway, instead of meeting Sam’s eyes. 

Sam reached over and took Dean’s hands in his, pulling him forward and into a hug. 

“I’m not leaving you, Dean.” Sam whispered. “Don’t you know by now I need you as much as you need me?”

Dean tried to believe Sam. He wanted to believe Sam – so much. But he would always have doubts because… people always left him. 

“I try to know that, Sammy.” Dean whispered into the collar of Sam’s jacket.

Sam pulled Dean closer, completely wrapping him up with his arms. 

“Even though I was mad as hell at you… I missed being with you, Dean. A few days of working together, trying to see things from your perspective… I came back. I’ll always come back… remember when I asked you what you thought my job was, after you made your deal to bring me back?” 

Dean nodded. He could remember that night all too well. Dean held Sam tighter as he continued to talk. “Well, looking out for you is my job, so when I ask you what’s wrong… let me do my job, ok?”

Dean sighed and nodded against Sam’s neck. Sam was saying the right things. Now, even more than taking care of Sam, Dean’s job was to convince himself to believe in what Sam was saying.

“I love you, Dean.” Sam said, kissing Dean’s cheek as he pulled back from his brother.

Dean looked at Sam. He was still the most beautiful person in the world in Dean’s opinion. 

“Love you, Sammy.” Dean tried for a realistic smile and then he rose up on his toes and kissed Sam softly. “Love you a lot, little brother.” Dean whispered against Sam’s lips.

Sam returned Dean’s kiss and then smiled at him. “Love you a lot, big brother.”

Sam and Dean separated and returned to their seats in the latest hunk of junk they called a car. 

And then they drove.


	10. How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

Sam grabbed Bobby’s cap, holding it in front of him, trying to process what was happening. He saw the bullet hole in Bobby’s cap without comprehending what it meant. Until, suddenly, he did. 

He felt his world shift. 

He didn’t want to believe. 

“Bobby!” Sam yelled, looking at Dean, hoping that Dean could say or do something to make it better. Dean glanced at the cap and then looked at Sam in dismay. He didn’t want to even consider what Sam’s eyes and pitch of his voice were telling him.

“Jesus Christ, Dean!” Sam yelled. “He’s not responding… pull over… pull over…” 

Sam was trying to unbuckle his seat belt and reach for Bobby all at the same time, which only served to tangle him up and make his actions more frantic and far less productive.

Dean looked straight ahead, trying to find a place to pull over that would be far enough away from the Leviathans and safe enough for Sam to jump out. Dean blinked back tears as images came unbidden…

Bobby, Sam and Dean playing catch out in the salvage yard while John was on a hunt.

Bobby making hot soup for Sam when he was sick with strep throat.

Bobby talking to Dean about being safe when he started sleeping with girls.

Bobby holding Sam tight and wishing him well before he went off to Stanford.

Bobby putting a Band-Aid on Dean’s knee when he’d skinned it up good falling off his bike when he was 7.

Bobby talking him through yet another misunderstanding with Sam.

Bobby trying to help Dean after Sam had been killed at Cold Oak.

Bobby crying over Dean’s deal to bring Sam back.

Bobby… always there to help Dean when he needed him most.

Bobby…

Bobby…

“Bobby…!”

Dean realized that Sam was screaming Bobby’s name as he leaned over the arm rest of the front seat to try to reach Bobby. Dean blinked back his tears as he finally found a spot to pull over. Sam leapt out of the van and wrenched open the back door, jumping in next to Bobby.

“Go… go… go…” Sam sobbed as he pulled Bobby up and into his arms. Sam did what he could with field medicine as Dean sped down the road.

Sam cried openly as he thought about Bobby and everything he meant to him.

Bobby encouraging him to take the ACT and SAT in preparation for a different life.

Bobby telling him that going his own way was ok and to not worry about his dad.

Bobby tending to Dean when he’d been slashed up by a wendigo, a frantic Sam looking on, trusting Bobby to make it right.

Bobby trying to help Sam after Dean had gone to hell for his deal… 

Bobby never giving up on Sam. Not even after he’d let Lucifer out of the cage.

Bobby letting him and Dean know that their relationship wasn’t anything they should be ashamed of or hide from him.

Bobby always there to help Sam when he needed him most.

Bobby… a second father to them both.

Bobby… a better father to them both.

Bobby…

Bobby…

Bobby…


	11. Death's Door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

Bobby smiled as best he could at Sam and Dean… his boys. He’d given them all he could now, including one last bit of information. 

“Idjits…” Bobby said with affection, causing Sam and Dean to smile hopefully in return.

When Bobby’s heart monitor alarm rang out, registering nothing moments later, the medical staff ushered Sam and Dean out of the room as they called a Code Blue. Sam and Dean stood and watched the nurses and the doctor rush about, trying everything to bring Bobby back.

Dean was just in front of Sam. Their attention was focused on the activity and trying to remain calm. The longer the medical staff worked, the closer Sam moved to Dean. Just moments before the doctor called the time of death, Sam had threaded his fingers through Dean’s. 

The doctor turned to look at Dean and Sam, his expression apologetic. Dean squeezed Sam’s hand until Sam’s bones actually hurt from the pressure. 

“No.” Dean said, stepping backward.

“Dean…” Sam said softly, trying to pull him into a hug.

Dean released Sam’s hand. 

“No.” Dean shook his head. “No… No… No!” 

Dean turned on his heel and ran down the hallway, furiously dashing his tears away with his sleeve.

Sam looked at the doctor. “I’m sorry… I’ll… be back.” Sam said before chasing after Dean.

Sam ran out the front door of the hospital and down the steps leading to the parking lot. Dean was sitting on the last step, his face in his hands and his shoulders shaking. Sam slowed his steps as he neared Dean.

Saying nothing, Sam sat next to Dean, slipping an arm around his shoulder.

Dean leaned into Sam but didn’t look up. 

“Oh god… Sammy…” Dean said between sobs.

Sam looked at the sky, remembering a time when he thought there was something up there watching down on him, caring about him. He’d been a fucking idiot. 

Sam let his tears go, too, because Bobby was gone.

Dean turned slightly and pulled Sam to him. The brothers held each other tightly and cried their hearts out. Much later, they sniffled through the last of their tears. They still hadn’t said anything… but they didn’t need to – they both knew what Bobby had meant to them.

And they knew their lives would never be the same again. 

Sam stood and held his hand out to Dean. Dean looked up at his brother, thankful he was by his side. Dean slid his hand into Sam’s and let his brother help him up. Sam continued pulling when Dean was on his feet. Dean rested his head on Sam’s shoulder as Sam wrapped him up in a hug.

“Just us now, Dean.” Sam whispered.

Dean felt tears flood his eyes again. Yep – it was just them. He nodded in agreement.

“I love you, Dean.” Sam said next to Dean’s ear. “And I need you. Now more than ever.”

Dean leaned back and kissed Sam softly. “Love and need you, Sammy. Always.”

Sam led Dean back into the hospital. 

They had arrangements to make.


	12. Adventures in Babysitting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

“I think maybe, I just want to work.” Sam said, shaking his head. He paused and continued, “What about you? Should I even ask?”

Dean looked straight ahead. “I’m fine.”

Sam looked over at Dean. “Fine… meaning…?”

Dean turned and looked at Sam before turning his attention back to the road ahead. “You’re right. We should just… work, right?” Dean paused. “Figure out a way to kick Dick Roman’s ass. But hey, we are the professionals.” Dean said with a forced smile. 

_“Fake it til ya make it.”_ Dean thought to himself. 

Sam, still concerned about Dean, but willing to roll with their plan to keep working – to keep hunting as they always had, reached over and turned on the radio. The sound of Steve Winwood singing Dear Mr. Fantasy filled the car.

_Dear Mr. Fantasy play us a tune  
Something to make us all happy  
Do anything, take us out of this gloom  
Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy_

_You are the one who can make us all laugh  
But doing that you break out in tears  
Please don't be sad if it was a straight mind you had  
We wouldn't have known you all these years_

Sam hunkered down in the passenger seat to catch some Zs. Dean looked over at him and sighed. He was still filled with an overwhelming sadness due to Bobby’s death… but having his baby brother safe in the seat next to him filled his heart with joy.

They didn’t get much happiness but as long as Sammy was safe, Dean had everything he needed.

He thought about Frank Deveraux’s advice: smile until the end of the week, and then start the next week with that same promise to yourself. 

Dean was going to try, so he smiled again as he guided their current set of wheels down another blacktopped road.

_Dear Mr. Fantasy play us a tune  
Something to make us all happy  
Do anything, take us out of this gloom  
Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy_

_You are the one who can make us all laugh  
But doing that you break out in tears  
Please don't be sad if it was a straight mind you had  
We wouldn't have known you all these years_

Sam shifted in the passenger seat, trying to get comfortable. Dean looked over at him and saw his face was all scrunched up as he tried to find a position he liked. It was the same face Sam used to make as a kid when he and Dean would be in the backseat trying to sleep as John drove.

“Sammy.” Dean said softly as he reached over and took Sam’s hand. Sam’s eyes flew open and he looked around, trying to identify what woke him up. When he saw Dean looking at him, he smiled.

“Hey. What’s up?”

Dean tugged Sam’s hand. “Why don’t you stretch out a little?”

Sam smiled and shifted into a sitting position. “Ok.” Sam slid around until he could rest his head on Dean’s shoulder and stretch his legs out under the dash. Sam settled in with a sigh. “Better.” was all he said.

Dean ran his fingers through Sam’s hair, loving the texture and the little moan of contentment Sam made when he did it. 

“Yeah.” Dean said as he returned his eyes to the road. “It is.”


	13. Time After Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

“You wanna know your future?” Cronos asked through blood-stained lips. “It’s covered in thick, black ooze. It’s everywhere.” Cronos smiled before adding, “Welcome to oblivion.”

Sam looked at Dean with a look of horror on his face as Cronos pitched forward and died.

Dean looked down at the once-powerful god, considering what his life must have been like, forever being pulled away from his one true love. 

“I understand his actions.” Dean said to no one in particular. “When you have an all-consuming love, you’ll do anything to get back to it.” 

Dean looked up at Sam pointedly, thinking about placing that note in the trim of the door, trusting that his brother would see it and know what to do. Sam nodded in response while staring into Dean’s eyes as Jody looked on and wondered what the silent communication had really been about.

Jody stepped forward and helped Dean to his feet. “You ok? How’s your neck?” 

Jody looked Dean up and down. “Nice suit…” Jody ran her hand down the lapel, taking in the cut. “Is this… custom tailored?” she asked with surprise.

Sam looked at Dean. Really looked at him in the suit. He looked awesome – truly beautiful.

Dean looked down, smoothing his hands down the front of the suit coat. “Yeah… custom tailored by the female and 1944 version of Bobby.” Dean paused and looked up at Sam and Jody. “She even called me an idjit.”

Sam smiled sadly and Jody sighed. 

“Pieces of a puzzle.” she said softly before turning to begin packing up Bobby’s books. When Jody hauled the first box out to the brother’s latest hunk of junk, Sam walked to Dean and pulled him into his arms. 

“I was so fucking scared that you were gone forever, Dean.” Sam whispered, hugging Dean tight. 

Dean let Sam hold him. He’d been terrified, too. But he was more disturbed by what Cronos had said about the black ooze. Fucking Leviathans.

Jody walked in on the brothers hugging each other tightly. She stopped and looked at them for a moment. She couldn’t see Dean’s face as it was tucked underneath Sam’s neck, but she could see Sam’s profile. His eyes were tightly shut, his face filled with fear and worry.

When Dean stepped back, he looked up at Sam and smiled softly. Jody thought he had never looked more beautiful than in that moment. When Sam leaned down and caught his brother’s lips in a tender kiss, Jody’s mouth fell open and she quietly stepped backwards out the door. 

Well, now she knew what the silent look full of intensity had been about.

She really felt that she should be surprised by what she had witnessed, but the more she thought about it, the less surprised she actually was. She had always thought that Dean and Sam had something special. She made some noise as she re-entered and found the boys standing apart and looking in her direction. 

“How many of these boxes do you boys want?” Jody asked in a tone that revealed nothing of what she’d just seen: the Winchester brothers in a full lip-lock.

Sam looked around. 

“Well, we can’t take all of them… but maybe we can take three or four?” 

Sam thought about the contents and separated out the ones he thought would be most helpful. When he was done, he and Dean hauled the boxes they were going to take out to the car.

Dean’s demeanor was troubled. 

“Are you worried she saw us?” Sam asked quietly as he stood up from sliding his box into the car.

Dean looked at Sam pensively. “Well… now I am. I hadn’t even thought of that. I was still thinking about what Cronos said.” 

Dean wasn’t in a good place mentally. He was tired. He was sick of the job. He was sick of monsters and he was especially sick of having to save the world.

Sam leaned against the car and looked at his brother. 

“I don’t think she saw us.” Sam stated confidently, although he wasn’t certain.

Dean didn’t respond. He was still thinking of other things. 

“What’s bothering you, Dean?” Sam asked quietly.

Sam was worried about Dean. He knew Dean hadn’t been in a good place for a while with the drinking… Sam tried not to think about that too much. Mostly because when Dean got like this, the drinking would increase, leaving Sam to worry about whether or not the drinking would put Dean at risk on the job.

Worse, it usually meant that Dean would have a one-night stand with a woman at some point. Sam mentally shook himself and tried not to think about that. Maybe they were in a good enough place where Dean wouldn’t do that anymore. 

Sam sighed audibly, knowing that was wishful thinking. He’d just have to find a way to deal with it when it happened.

Dean finally looked up at Sam. He should tell him how bad things were in his head, but he couldn’t. Not when Sam was still dealing with hallucinations of Lucifer. Dean had noticed Sam grab his scar, pressing into it, many times over the last few weeks. He didn’t want to put yet another pile of crap on his brother.

Dean sighed softly as he pulled Sam into a hug. “I’ll be ok, Sammy.”

Sam hugged Dean back, trying to put all of his love into the embrace. It hadn’t escaped him that Dean hadn’t said that he was ok… just that he would be. Eventually. 

Sam steeled himself for the road ahead.


	14. The Slice Girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

Sam was driving the latest hunk of crap car down another dark road in the dead of night. Sam had chosen to drive because he knew Dean was still shaken up from the confrontation with his Amazon daughter. Or, maybe Dean let Sam drive because he knew Sam would feel better if he were taking care of his brother. 

It didn’t really matter. By mutual agreement, Sam was in the driver’s seat.

“Look man, she was not yours. Not really.” Sam said angrily. He couldn’t believe Dean had hesitated. You kill the monster… and Dean knew it. He’d said it himself again and again. He’d said it recently when they’d fought about Dean killing Amy.

Dean looked distressed and disturbed. 

“Actually, she was, really. She also just happened to be a crazy, man-killing monster.” Dean thought about Ben and just how much, deep down, he wished he could be a father. 

He looked at Sam. Sam would make an amazing father. If only they could retire… maybe find a way to have a couple of kids… Dean didn’t let himself take that thought any further because that kind of life would never be possible for them. 

Instead of dreaming about impossibilities, he should be apologizing to his brother for putting them both at risk. Especially since he’d just slept with a woman when he knew he should have been with Sam instead. If he’d just gone home to Sam, this whole scenario could have been avoided.

“Bobby was right. Your head’s not in it.” Sam threw out there. Dean’s head wasn’t in it. Sam tried really hard not think about where Dean’s little head had just been. He was trying not to be hurt. He’d even anticipated it… but it still killed him to know that sometimes he wasn’t enough for Dean.

“You’re just as screwed up as I am… you’re just… bigger.” Dean added. And then wished he hadn’t. Not the last part. What did being bigger have to do with anything? Sam – and Bobby before him – was right. His head wasn’t in it.

“What?” Sam looked at Dean, wondering what he could have possibly meant by ‘bigger’.

“I don’t know.” Dean shook his head. That was a silly way to try to win an argument with his brother. Sam was smart and Dean knew he needed to think more before he spoke. Now he just felt stupid.

Sam tried not to laugh at the sullen expression on Dean’s face. Even when he was upset with Dean, he still found his older brother adorable. Sam let his worry overtake him again. 

“Look, it almost got you killed.” Sam held Dean’s gaze, trying to get him to understand what losing Dean would do to him. “Just… just… don’t get killed.” 

Things had been especially rough lately… all that time not knowing if he could find a way to get Dean back to the present when he disappeared with Cronos… and now this.

“I’ll do what I can.” Dean said, hoping he could find a way to get his head back into the battle. 

They were over 50 miles down the road when Dean finally offered an apology. “Hey, Sammy… I’m… I am sorry.” Dean didn’t know if he was apologizing for not being focused, for not talking to Sam about how messed up he really was or for having a dangerous fling with an Amazon and spawning a child. Probably all of it. 

“Really sorry.” Dean added.

Sam looked at Dean, his expression was one of concern tinged with sadness. 

Sam sighed and shook his head before looking back at the road. After a few moments, he finally looked at Dean and tried for a smile. 

“I know you are, Dean.” Sam nodded once and slid his gaze to the road before adding. “I know.”


	15. Plucky Pennywhistle's Magic Menagerie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

“By the way, to celebrate…” Sam pulled the multicolored slinky out of the jeep and walked back toward their latest car to give it to Dean. 

As soon as Dean saw it his eyes lit up. Sam had seen the toy and had immediately known that Dean would want it. 

Dean’s smile faltered for a moment. Sam was so good to him… so patient and… Dean knew that sometimes he was a dick… and why he couldn’t stay away from the chicks… even knowing it hurt the one person he loved most… 

Dean shook himself mentally and lit his face up with a big smile. “No! Did you win this?!?”

Sam shook his head, saying “We earned this.” 

Sam said as he handed it over to Dean before heading to the passenger side of a delightful gold-colored ride.

Dean smiled and thought that Sam was the best brother on the planet. He felt a little guilty about what he was about to do.

“Hey… I got you a little something, too, actually.” Dean said before throwing a Plucky The Clown doll at Sam, who grimaced as the doll landed in his hands.

“What? You said you were over it. You can think of it as a phobia sobriety chip.”

As Dean pulled the car away from the curb, Sam tossed the clown out the window. Dean laughed again and reached for Sam’s hand.

“I’m sorry, Sammy… I should have gotten you something sweet the way you did for me.” 

Dean was still smiling but he meant what he said. Dean reached for Sam’s hand and squeezed. “Thanks, Sammy… I… I just really love you. I hope you know that.”

Sam nodded at Dean. “I know that, Dean.”

“Sit by me.” Dean asked softly in the quiet of the car. Sam looked at the bucket seats of the car… they were big, 70’s style individual seats with armrests in the middle. They weren’t really conducive to cuddling while driving. 

“I would love to… but these seats aren’t like the Impala’s bench seat.” Sam said ruefully. 

Dean sighed. He knew Sam was right, but he just really wanted to be next to Sam right now. Sam tried to slide a little bit more to the left. When he couldn’t go any further, he slid his hand onto Dean’s thigh. “That’s about it, man.”

Dean moved his hand to the back of Sam’s neck, massaging it gently. “Guess it’ll have to do for now… but all this means is I’m gonna find us a room somewhere sooner rather than later, Sammy.” Dean said, his voice low and intense. “Need to be near you, ok?”

Sam stretched over and kissed Dean’s neck softly. “Need to be near you, too.”

Dean pressed down on the accelerator. 

He couldn’t find a motel fast enough. Once he did, he got them a room in short order and they quickly hauled in their gear. Sam threw his duffel in the corner and then strode to Dean’s side, grabbing his duffel out of his hand and tossing it to the floor.

Dean looked at Sam in surprise as he found himself being pushed back onto the bed. “Sam…” Dean began.

Sam captured Dean’s mouth in a blazing kiss that eventually left Dean gasping for air. “Don’t say anything, Dean.” Sam whispered as he began unbuttoning Dean’s flannel shirt. “I know you’re sorry… you always are, and I understand. But right now, I just want to… erase her… so let me, ok?”

Dean looked up into his brother’s eyes. He could see the hurt he’d caused there, just behind Sam’s need for him. Dean reached his hands up and framed Sam’s face. “I’m yours, Sammy. At the end of the day… at the end of time… I’ll always be just yours.”

Sam leaned down and kissed Dean passionately as he slid his hand down into his brother’s jeans, unerringly finding Dean’s cock hard and ready for him. Sam groaned into Dean’s mouth as he began to stroke him slowly.

Dean tugged and pulled at Sam’s shirt until he was finally able to fling it to the floor. He ran his hands over his brother’s warm skin, his fingers tracing old scars, and new ones, too. He lost himself in the feeling of Sam’s soft skin as Sam worked Dean’s jeans off and kicked them to the side.

Sam grabbed the lube he’d stashed in his front pocket and quickly slicked up his fingers before reaching down and working Dean open. Dean pulled Sam’s face to him and kissed him reverently as Sam’s fingers slid deep inside him. Both brothers moaned as Sam’s fingers deftly found Dean’s prostate. “Want you…” Sam whispered as he slid a third finger inside his brother.

“Always want you, Sammy…” Dean gasped as the pressure against his prostate caused his cock to twitch and precome to spurt out of him.

Suddenly Sam stood and stripped off his jeans. Dean took the opportunity to rip off his shirt and throw it in the corner. Sam quickly returned to the bed and slotted himself between Dean’s legs. In a practiced move, he slowly entered Dean and slid himself home.

Sam leaned down and licked his way into Dean’s panting mouth as he began to thrust. Dean wrapped his legs around Sam and gave himself over to the never ending pleasure he found in this love he and Sam shared. He put all of the worries, the angst and the fear that drove him into a woman’s arms aside and let Sam’s love purify him once again.

Sam closed his eyes as tightly as he could as he drove his cock into his brother again and again. He wanted to forget about his hallucinations, Dean’s extra-curricular activities, Bobby’s death and the Leviathan. He devoured Dean’s mouth desperately as he pounded into his brother. Their moans filled the quiet of the room until Sam heard Dean’s breathing become irregular, signaling he was close.

“Wait for me…” Sam gasped as he redoubled his efforts.

Dean groaned and gasped out, “I’ll try, Sammy…”

Sam recaptured Dean’s lips and they kissed with abandon until Dean couldn’t hold out anymore. As Sam felt Dean’s come splash across his straining stomach, he let himself go deep inside his brother. The low and urgent moans turned into babbling shouts and gasps of release as Sam collapsed onto Dean.

Dean kept his legs wrapped around Sam’s waist as he rode out the aftershocks. Sam breathed heavily against Dean’s neck, planting soft, wet kissed there when he could catch his breath. Finally, Sam rolled to the side, pulling Dean with him and into his arms.

Dean sighed contentedly as he slid his hand across Sam’s sticky stomach and held onto his waist. Dean nuzzled his face into Sam’s neck, thankful for his brother’s forgiveness and love.

“Love you, Sammy…” Dean breathed out as he felt sleep rushing toward him in the dark.

Sam pulled Dean closer and kissed his temple gently, his eyes closed to avoid seeing Lucifer watching them from the corner of the room, a disgusting leer on his face. “Love you, too, Dean.” Sam whispered as he hoped sleep would come to find him, too.


	16. Repo Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

As Dean lay on the bed furthest from the door sleeping peacefully, Sam fought Lucifer. Even pressing his thumb into his scar didn’t drive his hallucination away. Lucifer said Sam had let him in. Maybe he had. Sam huffed out several breaths as Lucifer tortured him with fire and memories of hell.

“Gooooooooooddddd morning Vietnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!” Lucifer yelled for the eighth time right next to Sam’s ear.

Two hours later, Lucifer still wouldn’t let Sam sleep. Images of fire and meat hooks and torture flashed in front of Sam’s eyes while Lucifer cackled next to him. Sam cried silently as he sat just feet away from Dean. He couldn’t take much more of this. He was exhausted and just wanted to sleep.

Sam stabbed his scar with his thumb to drive Lucifer away. Lucifer just laughed. “Not working so hot, is it, Sammy?” 

Sam looked over at Lucifer, his face full of disgust. Only Dean got to call him Sammy. Hearing Lucifer say it was revolting. He couldn’t stand that Lucifer had taken something special between him and his brother and was trying to turn into something vile.

God, how he hated Lucifer with every fiber of his being. Sam needed something to drive him away. He looked around the room, frantically searching for anything he could use to end the torment. 

His eyes lingered on his duffel bag, where he knew his gun was laying on top of his clothes. 

“Awww, Sammy… c’mon… you don’t want to end the fun just yet, do you?” Lucifer taunted Sam mercilessly. “I know an old bullet through the brain seems like a great solution, but why do you wanna take my fun away like that?” 

Sam looked Lucifer in the eye. “You’re not going to beat me.” Sam said, trying hard to believe the words he was saying.

Lucifer stood and walked over to Sam, grabbed his hair and yanking his head back, forcing Sam to meet his eyes. “Oh yes I am.” Lucifer hissed before leaning down, his lips dangerously close to Sam’s. “What do you think ol’ Dean would do if I kissed his little brother, huh? You think he’d ever want to kiss you again, Sammy?”

Sam tried to push Lucifer away from him, but he couldn’t escape him. No matter what Sam did, Lucifer either followed or rematerialized right before his eyes. When Sam went crashing to floor off the side of the bed, Dean startled and struggled to sit up, still groggy with sleep.

When Dean saw Sam hunched in the corner with a look of terror on his face, he leapt from the bed and ran to his brother. “Sammy… Sammy… I’m right here. Right here, little brother.” Dean said frantically as he grabbed Sam’s face in his hands. “Sammy?”

“What’s real?” Sam whispered. “I don’t know what’s real…”

Dean moved forward and pressed his lips against Sam’s. “I’m real Sammy… me… there’s just you and me in this room. We’re real.” Dean’s eyes were awash with unshed tears as he looked at his tormented brother. Dean was glad Cas was dead because if he weren’t, he’d fucking kill him for doing this to the one person he couldn’t live without.

“I don’t know…” Sam moaned, reaching for his head. “So much pain…”

Dean grabbed Sam’s arm and hauled him to his feet. “Sammy… c’mon man… we’re real. You and me. It’s always just been… you and me.” Dean helped Sam lie back on the bed. Sam still looked terrified as he glanced behind Dean again and again. Dean knew he was seeing Lucifer.

Dean rushed to Sam’s duffel. Moving past the gun he grabbed their lube. He quickly went back to the bed where Sam lay staring at the ceiling. Dean pulled Sam’s pants off and then discarded his own. He then put his face right above Sam’s so he was all Sam could see. “Sammy… I love you. Let me show you what’s real, ok?”

Sam finally focused on Dean’s eyes. He saw love there. He saw his brother. He knew Dean could help him. At least for now. “Yeah… Dean please… just make it go away.”

Dean quickly prepped Sam before sliding himself as deeply as he could. Sam concentrated on the feeling of Dean deep inside him. That was real.

Dean lowered his head and began kissing Sam, slowly and gently as he moved his hips, making love to Sam. Because this was about love. It was about their love. It had saved the world and Dean had to believe it could save Sam. Any other outcome… well, Dean couldn’t deal with that.

“You’re real.” Sam murmured as Dean continued to kiss him. “I feel you.”

“Yeah…” Dean gasped, “I’m real, Sammy. This is real. Just us. Only us.”

Sam lost himself in Dean and the love they shared was so strong that even Lucifer couldn’t come between them when they were like this. Sam let himself relax into Dean’s penetrating embrace and he took comfort in the fact that whenever he needed Dean, Dean was always there to take care of him.

Dean kept the pace slow and sensual. He wanted to make this last for as long as he could because he knew this was the only break Sam would get from Lucifer. Sam understood what Dean was doing and loved him for it.


	17. Out With The Old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

Dean looked around Frank’s bloody trailer in dismay. “Not good.” Dean pounded his fist against the wall in frustration. Without Bobby, Frank was the next best thing. And now he was gone, too. They had no resources… just one another. 

Dean and Sam. Like always.

Dean saw Sam stab his thumb into his scar. He’d noticed that Sam’s hallucinations were worse when under stress. Dean took several quick steps over to Sam and pulled him into a hug. “I’m here, Sammy. I’m real… hold onto me.”

Sam wrapped his arms around Dean, burying his nose in Dean’s neck, inhaling his brother’s scent. Sam closed his eyes and breathed deep. “You’re real.” he whispered.

Dean pulled Sam closer, running his hand down the back of Sam’s head, stroking his fingers through Sam’s hair because he knew how much Sam loved that. He felt Sam relax into him with a soft sigh. “I’m sorry I’m broken.” Sam whispered. It killed him that they had Leviathans on their hands, and Bobby was dead… and Dean was dealing with all of that plus his special brand of crazy.

Dean squeezed Sam more tightly for just a moment and then stepped back, taking Sam’s face between his hands. “You listen to me little brother. This isn’t your fault. This shit is on Cas. Sometimes I wish that bastard were alive so I could kill him.” Dean hated that Sam was in so much pain.

Sam shook his head. “You don’t mean that. Cas was our friend.”

Dean scoffed. “You think I don’t mean that? Woe unto the person – or thing – that hurts you, Sammy. Because they will have me to deal with – and that ain’t gonna end well for them.”

Dean reached down and grabbed Sam’s hand. “Let’s get outta here, Sammy.” Sam followed Dean to the car. Dean had plans for them. He sped back onto the highway and went south. It wasn’t long before Dean found a motel. He pulled in and got them a room while Sam waited in the car.

After parking in front of their room, the brothers jumped out, grabbing their stuff and hauling it into the room. Once inside, Dean ushered Sam into the bathroom, telling him to get ready for bed.

“Dean… you know I’m not sleeping…” Sam said, his eyes haunted by so many days without any real sleep.

Dean leaned forward and kissed Sam softly. “I know, Sammy.” Dean’s smile was gentle as Dean kissed Sam again. “I’m going to make you forget Lucifer for a while, ok?”

Sam gave Dean a small smile and nodded before pressing his forehead against Dean’s. “What would I do without you?” Sam couldn’t even imagine what life would be like without this man by his side. 

If something ever happened to Dean, Sam didn’t know much right now… but he knew he couldn’t face life without Dean by his side. He hoped he’d never have to try.


	18. The Born-Again Indentity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

“We don’t even have friends. All our friends are dead.” Dean said starkly as he wrenched open the door to the latest POS car he’d stolen. Sam was left outside the car, looking dismayed. Cas had just taken away his crazy… and was now crazy himself and Sam was worried about leaving him behind. Especially since Meg was the one they were leaving to watch over him.

Sam finally slid into the passenger seat. For the record, he hated the fact that they couldn’t retrieve the Impala yet. These bucket seats in these piece of shit cars were really getting to him.

Dean was speeding out of town. He was clearly upset and in no mood to talk. Sam respected that for a while, but he wasn’t going to let Dean avoid conversation for too long. After 30 miles had passed, Dean reached over to turn down the music. Sam was surprised that Dean seemed about to start a conversation.

“Sammy…” Dean said quietly. “I don’t want to talk…”

Sam laughed. “Really? Because usually when you turn down the music, you’re actually going to share something with me. But not this time?”

Dean looked at Sam and sighed. “I don’t want to talk about Cas right now, Sammy. I just wanted to say…” Dean paused, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “I just want to say that I’m so fucking glad that you’re better.”

Sam reached over for Dean’s hand. Dean gripped his brother’s hand tightly. He was overcome with emotion but was driving so he’d have to keep it together. “Was afraid I was gonna lose you, Sammy…” Dean said quietly before looking at Sam. “Do you even know what that would do to me?”

Sam brought Dean’s hand to his face, cradling it against his cheek as he looked at his brother. “Do you even know what it would do to me if I lost you?” Sam kissed Dean’s hand and then placed it safely in his lap, held between both of his. “I kept hanging on for you, Dean.” Sam said softly. “Every day, I kept fighting because I couldn’t leave you alone.”

Dean blinked back his tears. “Gonna find us a motel soon, Sammy.” Dean said decisively. “And when we get there… I need you… you get what I’m saying?”

Sam looked at Dean. It had been a long time since he’d been deep inside Dean. Lately, Dean had been the one to take charge… so Sam could get some relief from Lucifer. Dean had saved Sam over and over. Sam wanted to be inside Dean as much as Dean wanted him there.

“Yeah, Dean… I get what you’re saying.” Sam smiled at his brother. “And I can’t wait to give you what you need.”

Dean nodded and drove faster. Wherever that next motel was, he couldn’t get to it fast enough.


	19. Party On, Garth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

“I’m right here ya idjit.” Ghost Bobby said in vain. As Dean grabbed the flask and turned to walk out the door, Bobby said, “Balls!” before he disappeared from the room, reappearing in the backseat of the car.

Sam and Dean drove away from the motel, thinking about the possibility of Bobby being a ghost, Leviathans, the idiosyncrasies of Garth… any number of things. They weren’t in the mood for talking so they just drove. 

After 50 miles, Dean finally spoke. “Garth kinda grows on you, right? I mean, he’s a weirdo… but has a certain… charm.” Dean didn’t really want to talk about Garth but he really didn’t want to talk about Bobby potentially being a ghost so he was using this as a way to avoid talking about that.

Or was trying to… and would, if Sam let him.

Sam huffed out a laugh. “Charm, huh? I don’t know… but he’s a bit of a goofball and kinda funny, I’ll give you that much. Not a whole lot of help on a hunt though.” Sam said, thinking about how Garth always seemed to get knocked out early and then would pop up at the end, asking what he’d missed. “Honestly… I don’t know how he’s still alive.”

Dean laughed. “Yeah… I’m with you on that.”

Sam looked out into the night, thinking. “I wonder why he got into the life. Did you ever ask him?”

Dean frowned, trying to remember. “Um… I don’t think I ever asked. And I don’t know what got him started.”

Sam nodded. “Well, that’d be an interesting story. Maybe we can get him one beer some time and get him to spill it.”

Dean looked over at Sam with a smile. He loved when his little brother brought the snark. “I love you.” Dean said, surprised that he’d just blurted that out there. It wasn’t untrue, though. Far from it.

Sam looked over at Dean. As always, his brother looked beautiful. His profile one Sam had loved to look at since he was a child. Sam reached over and took Dean’s hand in his. “I love you, too.”

In the backseat, Bobby looked at his boys and then rolled his eyes. “What a couple of sappy idjits.” Bobby thought to himself. Which was all he could do because, try as he might, he couldn’t get the boys to recognize that he’d been right there with them all along.

When Sam leaned over and kissed Dean, Bobby smiled. Yeah, they were sappy but Bobby felt better knowing they had this with one another. While most wouldn’t approve, for Bobby, the boys’ love for one another brought him peace. Someday he’d have to move on and he knew as long as they had each other, his boys would be ok.


	20. Of Grave Importance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

“You know what I do know? It ain’t the natural order of things.” Dean said. “Everything is supposed to end.” Dean paused, thinking that one day, he and Sam would both end. Maybe soon, with the Leviathans running amok. “He was supposed …” Dean paused again, hoping that if there were any justice in the universe, he and Sam would end together because neither could exist alone. 

“Now… what are the odds this ends well? What are the odds?” Dean’s voice trailed off in the silence of the car. Two humans and a ghost hunting together… sounded great… but in practice? Dean knew that Bobby would eventually turn into something he and Sam would have to hunt.

Sam sighed and stared out the window. They could never, ever catch a break. Dean had said once that the hits just kept on coming from the time Sam was 6 months old. Sam couldn’t disagree with him on that one. But the hits hadn’t been just for Sam… Dean had been through plenty, too.

Too much. 

They both had.

The brothers drove in silence for miles. When Dean spotted a motel off the highway, he pulled in and left the engine of the Not-Impala – as Sam tended to think of their ever-changing menagerie of stolen vehicles – running while he secured a room for the night. Sam thought about the flask in the trunk as he waited for Dean.

When Dean pulled the car in front of their home for the night, Sam reached over and put his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Think we should leave the flask in the trunk tonight.”

Dean nodded once in acknowledgement. Sam was right. They needed some time on their own. They needed to know they were alone.

Before closing the trunk, Dean looked down at the flask. “Sorry, Bobby.” he said quietly. “Gotta leave you here for the night.” Dean slammed the trunk shut and followed Sam into the room.

The brothers got ready for bed in silence. Sometimes they were beyond words. Their movements were synchronized, their patterns aligned. They didn’t need to talk to know that each had a lot on their minds. 

As Sam and Dean slid into bed together, Dean wrapped Sam up his arms and just held him for a while. Minutes passed before Dean broke the silence. “Sammy… I have a bad feeling about… well, damn near everything. I just don’t see how this is gonna end good.”

Sam sighed as his slid his hand across Dean’s stomach to circle his waist, needing more contact with the one person who could make the bad stuff go away. “I know, Dean… I have a bad feeling, too.”

Dean kissed Sam’s temple, letting his lips linger at the soft skin he found there. “Listen, Sammy… if things go sideways and something happens to me… just stop, ok? Find a safe place to hole up, eat that leafy shit you call food and just survive as long as you can. Maybe meet up with some people who aren’t full of the corn syrup crap and try to have a life.” 

“Dean…” Sam’s voice was shaky. “Please… I can’t even think about that.”

“Yeah? Well, you gotta, Sammy. If I go, I need to believe you’re gonna be ok.”

Sam sniffled. He used his palm to scrub away his tears. He hated when Dean talked like this. “If you’re gonna ask that of me, then same goes, Dean.”

Dean nodded. “Of course, Sammy.” Dean didn’t mean a word of that. If something happened to Sam and he couldn’t get him back, then Dean would be having gun for dinner. Sam knew it, too. But he didn’t press.

When Dean rolled on top of Sam, Sam wrapped his arms around him and lifted his head off the pillow to meet Dean’s lips in a passionate kiss. Later, as Dean entered him, Sam cleared his mind of all of his fears and concentrated on the now. He didn’t know when the last time they’d be together like this would be, but he intended to treat every time going forward as though it may be the last.

Dean made the same vow to himself as he came deep inside his brother.


	21. The Girl With The Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

Sam and Dean had a chat about Bobby. When they returned to the car, they were both still pondering the future and how long Bobby could be trusted to not turn vengeful. Neither believed it wouldn’t happen. They agreed that it was just a matter of time.

Dean guided the latest travesty of a vehicle down the highway, his thumb hitting the wheel in time with the music on the radio. When “Blinded By the Light” ended, Dean reached over and turned down the volume. Sam looked over at him expectantly.

“Charlie was pretty awesome.” Dean said, his face betraying his sadness. “I feel bad we fucked up her life.”

Sam nodded thoughtfully. “I don’t know that we fucked up her life, Dean. She was already in harm’s way, and like you said – she was already on Dick’s radar.”

Dean looked over at Sam before returning his eyes to the road. “I know… but we made it worse… and now she has a broken arm to boot.”

Sam drew his brows together, considering Dean’s statement. “Did we really make it worse, though? At least now she knows that there are monsters out there…”

Dean looked at Sam in surprise. “Since when are you a fan of taking away people’s innocence?”

Sam sighed. “Since the Leviathan escaped purgatory. People need to know, Dean. Especially if we can’t stop all of this.” Sam paused and ran his fingers through his hair. “I mean… if I were them, I’d want to know.”

Dean pondered Sam’s changed stance on educating the masses. “Yeah… I suppose you’re right. Maybe that’s what our Plan B is… assuming we have a Plan A at some point that actually takes out the Leviathan. If that plan doesn’t work… then maybe we… hijack a news station, send manifestos to the papers… something to let people know.”

Sam nodded. “Yeah… I guess that’s our back up plan. Now, we just gotta figure out what the hell Plan A is.” Sam paused. “I just wish we had a little more in our arsenal… I mean, Frank’s gone, Bobby’s gone… Cas is practically comatose…” Sam let that sentence trail off and then he looked at Dean. “Which, by the way, we still haven’t talked about. And fair warning: we will have that conversation.”

Dean rolled his eyes. Sam… always with the talking. “Sammy, c’mon… what is there to say? Cas was a dick, he broke you, betrayed us, got amnesia and then fixed you… and now he’s the crazy one. I think that pretty much says it all.”

“Mostly fixed me.” Sam whispered.

Dean looked at Sam sharply. “What? What do you mean by that?”

Sam looked out the passenger window and then slowly turned back to Dean. “I mean, I’m mostly fixed. I don’t have hallucinations any longer… there’s no Lucifer taunting me… but every once in a while I feel like… if just one more thing happens, I’ll be in crazy town.”

Dean reached for Sam’s hand and held it tight. “You better explain that to me.” Dean was not happy that Sam chose this moment for the big reveal. He hoped Sam wasn’t going to say something that would send him into a tailspin – Dean himself was barely holding it together some days.

Sam squeezed Dean’s hand, trying to reassure him. “I just mean that when stress levels increase, I’m not sure I’m as mentally strong as I used to be. I think I just need time… for my psyche to heal or whatever. It’ll be fine, Dean. As long as we’re together, I’m good. I promise.”

Dean tugged Sam’s hand. Sam leaned over and kissed him quickly. Dean looked back at the road before looking back at Sam. “You better be.” 

Dean was going to try to shove this little nugget down deep. He already worried about Sam enough as it was. He didn’t need this information to pile on.

Sam brought Dean’s hand to his lips. “Love you, Dean. More than anything.”

Dean squeezed Sam’s hand. “Me, too, Sammy.” Dean paused and let out a sigh. “Me, too.”


	22. Reading is Fundamental

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude; explicit descriptions of sexual acts, including fisting.

Sam read Kevin’s translation of the Leviathan tablet. It’d been hours since Cas has disappeared and the angels took Kevin back home to his mother. Sam read and re-read each sentence, committing each one to memory.

Dean walked up behind Sam and put his hands on his brother’s shoulders, massaging the muscles the way he knew Sam liked.

“Mmmmm….” Sam hummed contentedly as Dean continued to work his muscles. Sam felt his tension headache ebb as his muscles loosened under Dean’s fingers.

“You’ve been at that for hours, Sammy.” Dean said as he leaned down to kiss Sam’s neck softly, letting his lips linger and his tongue lick the soft skin gently. Sam reached up with one hand and threaded his fingers through Dean’s hair, although there wasn’t a whole lot of length there to grab onto. Sam used the pressure of his hand to keep Dean’s lips against his neck.

The sensation of Dean’s breath brushing over his sensitive skin made Sam shiver with desire. Sam moaned as Dean opened his mouth and used his teeth to scrape up and down the cord of Sam’s neck. Sam put the notebook with Kevin’s translation to the side and stood. He looked at Dean, letting his desire shine through for his brother to see.

Dean gave Sam a knowing smile and held out his hand. Sam slid his hand into Dean’s, grateful for the interruption and for his brother’s steady presence by his side.

Dean led Sam to the bed. He slowly peeled Sam’s clothes off, taking his time, running his hands over flesh as it was exposed. He kissed Sam’s neck, his lips, his chest as he finally slid Sam’s jeans and boxers off. Sam was already hard from desire. Just the lightest touch or the gentlest kiss from Dean never failed to elicit a physical response from Sam.

Dean leaned up and captured Sam’s lips with his own, kissing his deeply, sliding his tongue into Sam’s mouth and licking and stroking as he quickly discarded his clothes. Dean, too, was already hard. He wanted Sam. Always.

Dean grabbed the lube from where he’d tossed it on the bed before massaging Sam’s shoulders. He handed it to Sam, indicating that he wanted Sam inside him. Sam looked at Dean, his smile filled with love and acceptance and desire.

“Lay on your stomach.” Sam whispered, using a hand to guide Dean to where he wanted him. Dean did as Sam asked. He’d let Sam do anything he wanted to him. They still had a ‘no limits’ policy.

Sam spread Dean’s legs and then kneeled between them, his eyes traveling Dean’s body. “You’re perfect.” Sam said softly as he ran a finger down Dean’s back and then over his ass. Dean moaned in response, lifting his hips to show he was ready for whatever Sam was about to do.

Sam set the lube to the side for a moment and used his tongue to tease Dean, running it down his spine and then past his lower back to the point where his ass cheeks parted. Dean sucked in a breath, holding it… hoping Sam would go lower.

Sam licked into the separation, but was still far higher than Dean wanted him. Dean slid both arms down and then spread himself open for Sam. “Please… Sammy…” Dean moaned into the pillow.

Sam nipped at the skin under his teeth. “Wanna eat you, Dean.” Sam growled, causing Dean’s cock to twitch from the intensity of his voice.

“Please… please…” Dean begged. He wasn’t beyond begging – not when it came to Sam’s touch.

Sam trailed his tongue lower and teased Dean, circling his hole but not quite close enough. Dean whimpered with need causing Sam to smile. Sam opened his mouth and exhaled over the sensitive flesh and Dean thought he might scream with the need that had built up inside him.

“Fuck…” Dean moaned as he waited to see what Sam would do next.

Sam flattened his tongue and began his assault. He licked and teased and probed with his tongue. Dean’s hips were thrusting up to meet Sam’s mouth. Sam licked deeper and harder, beginning to open Dean up. As Dean got wetter, it was easier for Sam to slide his tongue inside of him. Dean pushed back even more, trying to get more of Sam’s tongue.

“Feels so good, Sammy…” Dean moaned as Sam filled him with his tongue. “Fucking love when you do this…”

Sam grabbed Dean’s ass cheeks in his hands and squeezed, spreading them wider and then he ate Dean out in a frenzy. Dean’s hips were thrusting and he was moaning… so close to coming… so close…

And then Sam withdrew. Dean moaned in frustration. “Sammy…”

Dean cried out when Sam slid two fingers deep inside him. He hadn’t even heard Sam open the lube. The distinctive snick of the lid always let him know what was coming. Sam fingered his brother, working his fingers in as deep as they would go.

“Love how soft you are inside, Dean… so wet and hot and needy… just for me.” Sam slid a third finger inside Dean, fucking him deep. Sam added lube and momentum. Sam worked with the angle until he was hitting Dean’s prostate. Dean’s hips bucked and he moaned loudly as Sam began pounding his fingers deep inside, hitting the prostate again and again. 

Dean pushed back to meet Sam. His eyes were closed and he was solely focused on the feeling of his brothers fingers deep inside him. He didn’t even notice when Sam added a fourth finger. For Dean there was nothing but Sam and him. 

Sam leaned up as he continued to fuck Dean with his fingers. “Want you to come, Dean… just like this…” Sam bit into the muscle of Dean’s ass as he watched his fingers disappear into his brother. Dean was fucking himself on Sam’s fingers… and it was so fucking hot. Sam slowly changed the position of his hand and as Dean continued to push back into Sam’s efforts, Sam slid his thumb in there, too.

It wasn’t long before Dean had taken most of Sam’s hand inside him. Sam had to look away or he knew he would come just from watching his brother take so much of his hand inside him. Sam gasped when Dean clenched around him as his orgasm ripped through him.

“Sammy… Sammy…” Dean cried out, over and over as his cock spurted his come out between him and the bedspread. Sam grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed, willing himself not to come. But that was the hottest shit Sam had ever seen… he barely kept himself in check.

When Sam had himself back under control, he crawled up the bed and kissed Dean’s cheek. “That was fucking amazing, Dean.” Sam whispered. Dean just grunted and puckered his lips, indicating he needed Sam to kiss him, so Sam did.

Dean rolled to his side, his stomach was messy with his come and that made Sam smile. Sam leaned down and trailed his tongue through it, closing his eyes in pleasure at the familiar flavor. He then moved so he could lay his head next to Dean’s on the pillow. “I love your taste.” Sam said softly as he pulled Dean into a hug. “I fucking love it.”

Dean let Sam hold him for a moment before he pushed Sam onto his back. “Wanna ride you.”

Sam looked up at Dean. “Are you sure? You do realize you just had most of my hand inside you…”

Dean looked at Sam in surprise. “I did?”

Sam smiled. “Yeah… man… that was the hottest fucking thing…”

Dean straddled Sam and reached behind him to line Sam up. As Dean lowered himself, taking Sam’s cock deep inside him, he closed his eyes and moaned. “Love when you fill me up, Sammy.”

Sam looked at his brother – so beautiful in his blissed out state – and sighed. “I love being inside you, Dean.”

Dean began moving his hips, taking Sam deep and then slowly sliding until Sam’s cock was in danger of popping out and then taking Sam all the way back in. Sam moaned at the sensation… it was incredible. Dean continued to slowly take Sam in and out of his body, giving himself to Sam over and over.

Dean sped up the pace, clenching himself around Sam, giving him an intense friction he knew would take Sam over the edge. Dean rocked and moaned and pushed and worked his hips in a sensuous dance that brought Sam right to the edge.

Dean leaned down and let Sam fuck up into him as they kissed for a few strokes. He knew Sam was so close so to get him there Dean broke the kiss and put his mouth next to Sam’s ear. “Next time…” Dean panted. “Don’t stop… until I’ve taken your… whole hand…”

Sam came with a roar.


	23. There Will Be Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

Dean couldn’t believe that Bobby had jumped a body.

“It’s a good thing we have Crowley in our corner. Right? Seeing as how it all comes down to him.” Dean looked at a worried Sam. “What could possibly go wrong?”

Sam shut his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair, brushing his bangs back. He could feel his mental weakness just waiting to overtake him. Sam took several deep breaths, trying to bring his stress level to a manageable level.

“Sammy?” Dean asked, his face a mask of concern. Sam had to keep it together… he had just had to… Dean was nearing the edge himself.

Sam opened his eyes and looked at Dean. He realized then that he was freaking Dean out. “I’m ok, Dean.” Sam said quickly. “But… can you hold me for a minute? I need to feel safe, I think.”

Dean strode over to Sam and pulled him into a tight embrace. “I’m here, Sammy. Always gonna be right here beside you.” Dean whispered, hoping to hell that were true. Dean breathed deeply several times, pulling Sam more tightly against him.

Sam tucked his face next to Dean’s neck. “Hey… I know we were getting ready to leave…” Sam whispered… but I need you right now… can we stay for a while?”

Dean gently pushed Sam back and kissed him softly. “Of course.” Dean checked his watch. “We have another 8 hours before check out…” Dean felt urgency to get where they were going… but things were speeding up, coming to a head… and this might be the last time…

“Go lay down.” Dean said to Sam as he went to throw the lock on the door. Sam was already half naked as Dean walked back toward the bed.

“Lube.” Sam said as he crawled under the covers. Dean changed his course and went to Sam’s duffel, quickly finding the lube. Dean placed it on the table next to the bed, shed his clothes and slid in next to Sam.

Sam slid his arm under Dean’s neck and used his other to pull Dean against him. “Dean… if this is the last…” Dean silenced Sam with a kiss. He didn’t want to think about this being the last time they would be together like this.

“No talking, Sammy.” Dean whispered into Sam’s mouth as he deepened the kiss. Sam nodded his assent and let Dean take the lead. Dean kissed Sam with all the love he could muster – which was quite a lot, truth be known. Dean felt Sam grow hard against his belly. He loved the way Sam responded to him. It was sexy as hell.

Dean wrenched his arm back, hunting for the lube on the table without breaking the kiss. When he found it, he used his thumb to flick the lid open. He then squirted a bunch on Sam’s stomach and closed the bottle before throwing it to the side.

Dean took Sam’s leg closest to him and moved it until it was resting on his hip, giving him room to work. Still kissing Sam greedily, Dean twisted his fingers in the lube on Sam’s stomach, coating each one liberally. He then slid his hand down between Sam’s legs. Sam made a needy whine in his throat when Dean didn’t touch his cock in the process.

“Soon, baby.” Dean whispered into Sam’s mouth as he slid his fingers over his brother’s entrance. Sam moaned and spread his legs wider, encouraging Dean in his efforts. Dean began prepping Sam… teasing him at first with his wet fingers and then penetrating him… one finger, then two and finally three. Dean kissed Sam passionately as he fingered him, loving the feeling of Sam’s hips responding and the soft, wet heat meeting his fingers as he continued to thrust.

“Dean…” Sam gasped. “Please… need you.”

Dean slowly pulled his fingers out of Sam, leaving him open and wet and wanting. Dean used the lube on his fingers to cover himself as he rolled on top of Sam. Dean looked down at Sam, who was looking up at him with such undisguised love and adoration that Dean nearly broke down.

“Sammy…” Dean sighed as he drove his cock all the way inside his brother. “Sammy…” Dean whispered again before kissing Sam as he started to thrust. Sam wrapped his arms and legs around Dean. He belonged here, with Dean. Forever. He was Dean’s and Dean was his.

Hours later, they still hadn’t slept. They kept touching and stroking each other, soft touches, slow caresses full of love and reverence for everything they had right here: each other. Neither of them knew what the next day would bring, but as long as they had this, they’d find a way to make it through.


	24. Survival of the Fittest (Intermission)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intermission

“Here’s to running into you guys on the other side.” Bobby said, looking back and forth between his boys. “Only, not too soon, ok?”

Sam and Dean nodded once and then Dean turned and slowly laid the flask on the hot embers. He watched as the flames began to consume the flask. He saw the light as Bobby’s spirit began to burn. Sam couldn’t tear his eyes away from the image of Bobby slowly going up in flames.

Dean turned to watch as Bobby grew brighter. Both boys had tears in their eyes as they said good-bye to Bobby for a second time. When Bobby was gone, Dean turned to look at Sam. He had tears shimmering in his eyes and Sam looked devastated.

Cas had watched everything from the staircase. 

Dean went to Sam and wrapped him up in a hug. Sam wrapped his arms around Dean in return. “Gonna miss him.” Sam whispered, trying hard not to cry.

“Yeah, me too…”Dean responded. He was close to losing it, too.

Whenever things got this bad, Dean just wanted to lose himself in Sam, so Dean pulled back and looked into his brother’s eyes. “Need you, Sammy.” Dean’s voice was soft and full of pain.

Sam pulled Dean over to the love seat and tugged him down into his lap. Dean sighed as Sam cradled his face with his hands. 

“Don’t ever leave me.” Sam whispered to Dean, who felt the intensity of Sam’s words in his gut.

“I won’t.” Dean whispered back, “Not if I can help it.”

As Sam captured Dean’s lips in a passionate kiss, Cas dematerialized from the staircase and ported himself to where Meg was sitting outside.

“We should stay out of the house for a while.” Cas told Meg, without elaborating.

Meg knew why they shouldn’t go back in. She wasn’t stupid. “Let’s take a walk.”

Back downstairs, Sam was devouring Dean’s lips, his tongue, him… he couldn’t get close enough to Dean. Dean was grabbing Sam’s shoulders, meeting his urgency and desperation. When Sam reached down to free Dean’s cock from his pants, Dean shuddered with desire.

Sam wrapped his fingers around the hard length and began stroking Dean slowly as they continued to kiss. Sam swirled his thumb through the precome that had oozed out in response to his touch, causing Dean’s hips to buck. 

Sam broke their kiss and bit down on Dean’s neck with the exact pressure he knew Dean loved as he sped up his strokes. Dean was moaning and grabbing helplessly at Sam, needing him… wanting him. Dean began panting as his orgasm approached. 

“Sammy…” Dean gasped as Sam squeezed harder and stroked faster. “Gonna… I’m gonna…”

Sam moved his mouth next to Dean’s ear. “Come for me… please… I need to feel it… Dean… please…”

Dean threw his head back and let his orgasm rip through him. “Sammy!” Dean cried as his cock pulsed, shooting his come over Sam’s hand and his exposed belly. Sam grabbed Dean’s lips with his own, humming his approval at the feel of his brothers come dripping over his fingers.

Sam brought his hand up and looked at Dean’s come coating his fingers. “Dean…” Sam said, his voice full of awe, “There are times I still can’t believe what we have together… you know?” Sam looked into Dean’s eyes. “I love you so fucking much… don’t ever forget that, ok?”

Dean’s eyes grew soft as he looked at his brother. “I’ll remember, Sammy.”

Sam lifted his finger to Dean’s lips, painting them with his own come before slowly licking it off. “Love your taste, Dean… can’t ever get enough.” Dean groaned. Sam was so many different things, but the mixture of wide-eyed innocence and just how dirty he could be when it came to them was truly intoxicating.

Dean moved so he was straddling Sam. He looked down at his brother as he slowly ground himself against Sam’s hard cock. “Wanna ride you, Sammy.” Dean said, letting his need come through in the tone of his voice.

“God… Dean… please… wanna watch you…” Sam let his head fall back on the loveseat, spreading his arms to signal to Dean that whatever he wanted, he could have. Dean jumped off and ran to Sam’s duffel, digging for their lube. He came back and handed it to Sam.

Dean leaned down and kissed Sam softly. “No prep, Sammy.” Dean whispered. “Just lube us up and let me do what I need, ok?” Sam looked at Dean, his eyes wide. He was terrified of hurting Dean and Dean could see that written all over his face. “It’s ok, Sammy… I’ll be careful.”

Dean took his pants and boxers off and then ripped off his shirt, before quickly taking Sam’s shirt and jeans off. Sam’s cock was hard and there was precome at the tip. Dean leaned down and slowly licked it up, savoring his brother’s taste. Sam moaned as he brought his lubed fingers to his cock, slowly stroking it and covering it with lube.

“Turn around, Dean.” Sam said, his voice quivering with need. Dean did as Sam asked. Sam squirted lube into his hand and then used his free hand to spread Dean open. Sam kissed Dean’s lower back as he ran his lubed hand over Dean’s entrance, making sure that he was soaking wet with it.

When Sam finished, Dean turned and once again straddled his brother. Dean looked down into Sam’s eyes as he reached behind him to line himself up. Dean began to press down, a little at a time, and then he’d rise before pressing down again. 

Dean did it slowly, each time taking just a little more of Sam’s cock inside him. Sam watched every move and facial expression. Dean now had his hands on Sam’s shoulders for balance and his face was relaxed, his eyes closed. When Dean finally had the head of Sam’s cock inside him, he opened his eyes and looked down at Sam. “Do you know how much I love this?” Dean asked in a needy whisper. “Do you know how much I need this?”

Sam reached up and took Dean’s face in his hands. “Do you have any idea how much I love and need this, too?” Sam pulled Dean’s face to his and they kissed, slowly at first and then as Dean worked more and more of Sam’s cock inside him, the intensity of the kiss grew.

Dean rode Sam faster and harder. Sam moved his hands to Dean’s hips and used them to leverage himself up and into this brother, meeting Dean’s efforts with every thrust. Dean grew hard again as Sam’s cock hit his prostate over and over. Dean loved riding Sam like this… being in control of the angle, the pace, the force. 

Sam was getting close. He needed Dean to come with him so he wrapped his hand around Dean’s cock and stroked in time with Dean’s movements. They were both panting with excitement and effort, moaning and gasping as their orgasms built. 

Dean broke their kiss and looked at Sam. “Need to see you when I come.” Dean gasped out, so close… so close. 

“Yeah…” Sam panted. “Wanna see you.”

With their eyes locked, Dean thrust himself down onto Sam as Sam trust up. They met that way until Dean’s eyes widened as he moaned, “Sammy…” 

When Sam felt Dean’s come splash against his chest he let his orgasm go… calling out Dean’s name over and over as he came deep inside his brother. Dean fell forward and laid his hand on Sam’s shoulder, catching his breath.

Sam held Dean tight against him, running his hands up and down Dean’s back, soothing him through the aftershocks. As their breathing returned to normal, neither man moved. They didn’t want to break their connection.

When their tears came, they held each other tightly, unwilling to let go. They were both thinking about their mission to kill Dick Roman and to hopefully save the world. Again. They both knew this may be the last time they were ever together this way so they let their tears fall and just hung on as long as they could, both knowing that soon, they’d have to let go.

Maybe forever.


	25. Survival of the Fittest (Postlude)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Postlude

_30 Minutes Without Dean_

Sam stood in the lab, looking around in confusion. He was all alone. Just as Crowley had said before he disappeared. As panic set in… Sam could feel it… the pressure behind his eyes. He was close to cracking.

Sam bent over, willing himself to hold it together. Kevin had said the lab needed to be blown up. Something about creamer and skinny people. He needed to focus.

Sam had a job to do. He decided he’d take things minute by minute. If could endure one minute without Dean, he could find a way to get to ten or thirty or… Sam didn’t want to think about how long he might have to endure it, so he focused on the task at hand.

It was a lab, so there were plenty of chemicals. Sam found what he needed and spread accelerant through the building leading to the door. There, Sam lit the fuel and then stumbled away from the lab as it went up in flames. Tears ran down his face. Dean was gone.

Sam went to the Impala and backed it out of the SucroCorp sign. He’d cleared the glass away from the ground so it wouldn’t puncture the wheels. Dean would be mad if Sam didn’t take care of his baby. Sam left the demons to deal with the remaining Leviathan and drove away with tears streaming down his face.

_One Week Without Dean_

Sam was holed up in Rufus’ cabin in Montana. After he’d pulled himself together enough to be functional, Sam had driven straight to where he and Dean had last been together. They had ties there. If Dean could show up, that’s where he’d go. Sam planned to wait for him there.

Dean had to come back. He had to.

Evey single day since Sam arrived, he woke up in the morning, searching for signs of Dean. He also kept an eye on the Leviathan. Once Dick Roman had been taken care of, it didn’t take long for the rest of the Leviathans to fall. Crowley’s demons had taken down all of the ones at the SucroCorp headquarters. The few who had been left after that were being hunted, Sam supposed, by other hunters or maybe more of Crowley’s demons. He didn’t care though – the only thing he cared about was getting Dean back.

So he searched from sun up until sun down, trying to find lore, information, signs – anything that would tell him what happened to Dean.

There was nothing.

_One Month Without Dean_

Sam was still at Rufus’ cabin. He’d fixed up Dean’s car as he’d waited, making sure everything was in running order. Everything needed to be perfect for when Dean was back. Sam was satisfied when he was finished, but then there was nothing left for him to do but wait. By the third week, he started drinking in the evenings. By week four he was drinking by noon.

Sam had covered the loveseat with a sheet. He couldn’t stand to look at it and he certainly couldn’t sit on it. It had been the last place he and Dean had been together and now, just the sight of it brought so much pain.

Sam cried himself to sleep every night. His arms wrapped around a pillow, pretending to hold Dean brought him just enough comfort to allow him to fall asleep for just a while. When the nightmares set it, Sam often awoke with a scream in his throat, covered in sweat. When that happened he’d drink until he passed out.

Sam was in an endless cycle of being drunk and being hung-over. There was very little in between. Just the loneliness of waiting for someone who may never come.

_Three Months Without Dean_

Sam packed the rest of his stuff in the trunk of the Impala. He was one week sober and with sobriety came the unwelcome knowledge that Dean was gone forever. Sam knew if he stayed at the cabin any longer, he’d give Nicholas Cage a run for his money in Leaving Las Vegas.

So he drove, thinking that being on the road in the Impala would bring him comfort.

He was wrong. It took the loneliness of the cabin and increased it exponentially. After several weeks of driving aimlessly, Sam’s thoughts turned dark. He’d lost hope. That’s when Sam really started to think about the future. The one in which Dean no longer existed. He didn’t want it. Sam recalled their shared heaven. Maybe Dean was there, waiting for him. It was an idea that Sam had initially rejected but now would come unbidden in the darkness of night.

_Dean was waiting for him in heaven._

On the morning of the day Sam planned to be his last, Sam popped the trunk of the Impala. His duffel was right next to Dean’s. Sam opened both, taking a jacket from Dean’s and wrapping one of his shirts in it. Sam tucked it safely in his duffel. And then he changed his mind, taking it back out before searching through the pockets of his duffel. When he found it, Sam took the amulet and laid it on his shirt and then reclosed Dean’s jacket over both.

That was good. 

Complete.

Sam zipped his duffel shut and then returned his attention to Dean’s. He searched through it, finally finding what he was looking for. Sam took out Dean’s box of pictures and rifled through them. He found the picture of he and Dean laughing at something Bobby had said. He put his lips against it, kissing his brother’s face softly. “I’m coming to you, Dean.”

Sam slid the picture into his back pocket and zipped everything back up before shutting the trunk with a bang.

Sam got in the driver’s seat and looked at the only home he’d ever known. Empty now of the one thing that had mattered most to him. “Sorry, Baby.” Sam whispered as he put the car in Drive.

As Sam sped toward the bridge just outside of Kermit, Texas, his thoughts were only about seeing Dean again. Sam pressed the accelerator to floor and began driving toward a life with Dean. Suddenly a dog came out of nowhere and Sam clipped it with the front bumper of the car.

“No!” Sam screamed as he threw on the brake and pulled the car to the side of the road. Nothing else was supposed to die – just him. He’d hurt – and killed – so many… all he’d wanted to do is end this life so he could go be with Dean for eternity and now he’d killed something else.

Sam jumped out of the car. He was crying as he ran to the dog which was in the middle of the road on its side. Sam kneeled down, reaching out his hand to check for a pulse. The dog lifted its head and looked Sam in the eye. It whined a little as Sam extended his hand toward its head.

“Hey… I’m so sorry…” Sam cried. When the dog licked his hand, Sam sobbed. “Fuck… ok… ok… I’ll take you for help.”

Sam gathered the dog in his arms and put it in the passenger seat of the car, wrapped in his jacket. “Ok…” Sam said to himself. He could do this – get the dog to help – and then get back to his plans. Sam had passed a vet on Main Street earlier in the day. He turned the Impala around and sped back to town.

Get the dog some help and then get to Dean. That was his plan.


End file.
